Compassion: a word we use so often, but what does it really mean?
Compassion—a word we hear so frequently. We toss it around in conversation, write it in well-meaning texts, and use it in moments when we want to offer support. But have you ever stopped to reflect on what compassion truly means? Beyond the surface level, beyond just feeling bad for someone else, what does it really look like in practice, especially as a leader or someone supporting others?
At its core, compassion is the act of understanding and sharing in someone else's experience—not just their joy, but also their pain, struggle, and suffering. But here’s the crucial part: it’s not about fixing them. It’s not about swooping in with a solution or telling them how they should handle their situation. True compassion is about sitting with them in that experience, recognizing that we all face challenges, and creating space for them to process it in their own way.
As a leader, compassion becomes even more significant. People will come to you with all kinds of challenges—some professional, some personal. And while it may feel like your responsibility to solve those problems for them, that’s not what compassion calls for. Compassion is about recognizing the shared humanity between you and the other person. It’s about meeting them where they are, walking beside them without taking control of the journey.
Think about this for a moment: when someone comes to you for support, it’s not always because they want you to “fix” things. Oftentimes, they just need to feel heard and understood. When we offer compassion, we allow the other person to process their experience in a way that feels true to them, rather than imposing our own ideas or solutions. In that space of non-judgment, healing and growth can actually take root. Compassion isn’t passive—it’s an active practice of letting go of our own agenda and being fully present for someone else.
For those of us in leadership positions—whether in the military, business, or personal life—there’s a tendency to want to step in, solve the problem, and keep everything moving forward. But here’s the truth: when we constantly step in and take over, we’re not actually empowering the people we lead. We’re creating dependence. Compassion, on the other hand, is about lifting others up by allowing them to find their own way forward. It’s about giving them the tools and support they need, while trusting in their ability to grow and make decisions that are right for them.
Compassion is also an act of self-awareness. It requires us to step back and realize that we don’t always have the answers. And that’s okay. We don’t need to “one-up” someone’s struggle with our own stories. We don’t need to compare or minimize what they’re going through. Instead, we can simply be present, hold space, and let them know that they’re not alone in whatever they’re facing.
So the next time you think about compassion, ask yourself: Am I trying to fix this, or am I truly showing up for this person? Am I offering advice because I feel like I need to, or because it’s what they’re asking for? Compassion isn’t about doing more—it’s about being more for the person in front of you. It’s about sharing the load without taking it all on your shoulders. And in that process, we find that we don’t just help others—we also help ourselves grow as leaders, friends, and human beings.
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